I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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