So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
