God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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