he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Randomize