Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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