Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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