I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
