I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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