I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize