if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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