that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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