glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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