It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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