I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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