i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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