You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
