Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
