cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
