so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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