ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
