oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
