You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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