better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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