i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
