What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Congratulations! We have a period
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
