she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why can't burritos get me drunk
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
