my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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