it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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