It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
