Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
