She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We had sex on a dog bed..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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