Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
