Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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