Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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