I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
