First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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