And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
