I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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