Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize