drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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