I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
