i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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