her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
