evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
