I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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