We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
