it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
