We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
