Your tits are I can't wait for
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
