some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
