I didn't shave. On purpose
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
