mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
