You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
