So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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