we're blogging at a bar
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
