oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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