We're like a lot better than the average bears
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize