I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
