Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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