He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
